BREAKING

Middle Earth

In a report from the Bree Daily, Sauron, of Mordor, has reportedly paid 44 Billion Dollars in exchange for a Seer Stone called "Twitter", a dollar being some odd foreign currency made of paper.

Mayor Sam Gamgee, of Bag End, has been quoted that "he knows nothing of any of Sauron's latest dealings" but is "quite certain that no Rings of Power are involved."

None of the other hobbit Adventurers could be reached for comment.

In other headlines from the Shire, ByWater and Beyond

  • The Inn at Bree has collected a great number of oddly colored checkmarks.
  • Mayor Sam Gamgee's daughter Elanor has won the tight rope walking contest.
  • Rumors still abound at the Green Dragon Tavern about the missing Frodo Baggins.

This report was updated to correct the spelling of Sam Gamgee's name.